What's new lately

The main thing we've been dealing with lately is all of us recently having a stomach bug. NOT FUN! Poor Ally is still battling some serious diaper messes/rashes.

Other than that, Evan & Ally are really, really looking forward to Trick Or Treating on Saturday! Ally is going to be Abby Cadabby and Evan will be a muscular Superman. They got a taste of Trick Or Treating last weekend when we went to Trunk or Treat at the YMCA. Evan now remembers why Halloween is so cool: C-A-N-D-Y!!!!!

I can't believe in one more week Tim & I will be going out of town BY OURSELVES for the first time ever. It's just for the weekend, but as it draws closer, I'm getting more and more nervous about it. I've never given up this much control before, when it comes to my kids. I *pray* that they'll be good for Grandma & Grandpa.

IT'S A GIRL!!!

Well, we *finally* had the 'big ultrasound' today!!!!

I was bawling almost from the moment it began; even before they told us the gender. Every time she told us that some part of the baby looked perfect, I cried harder & harder. I just can't believe how fortunate I feel to have a healthy, beautiful baby again. How amazing. What a miracle!!!

I have to say, I was utterly surprised to NOT see boy parts on there! I truly felt like it was a boy. But then again, I was wrong on my guesses for Evan and Ally as well. So much for Mother's intuition, right? LOL!

They made me a CD of all of the pics, which was really special. I'll post a few of the pics later on.

Right now I'm just riding on a cloud. I'm so incredibly thrilled and blessed!!!

Oh, and we're 99.9% sure we want to name her Emily Ann. We just love the name Emily. And Ann was my Aunt Darlene's middle name. She grew up in the same house as me since I was 5 years old (she had brain damage) & she was such a special part of my life. Sadly, Aunt Darlene passed away quite suddenly from a heart attack 3 years ago. Hopefully she's smiling down from Heaven right now.

Tomorrow at this time...

We'll know how our family will be rounded out. I'm feeling so overjoyed!!! And now that I'm this close to knowing one way or the other, my heart assures me that I truly will be SOOOOOOO grateful no matter what.

I am SO lucky. SO fortunate. SO thankful. This baby is such a gift.

After all the pain that we endured with our prior miscarriages, I can't believe that we're here now. Learning the gender of our LAST child. Our THIRD child!!! I'm in tears just typing this. Thank you, God, for this amazing gift.

If it's a boy or if it's a girl...

IF IT'S A BOY:
I can imagine my littlest man following his big brother around like a puppy dog. I pray that he's not effected by autism in any way. I imagine another little boy that is as simply STUNNING as Evan is.

IF IT'S A GIRL:
I can imagine my littlest girl thinking her big sister might be the coolest girl on Earth. I imagine another girly-girl that loves to dance & sing. I imagine her & her big sister sharing a room with bunk beds when they get older.

EITHER WAY:
I wish this child to be as naturally joyful as Ally & as naturally brilliant as Evan. I wish this child to be loved & protected by it's older brother & sister. I wish this child to be as genuine, good-hearted, kind and selfless as it's Daddy. I wish this child to be healthy.

MOST OF ALL:
I thank God every single day for all of my children, including this precious one I carry inside of me. I can't ever put in to words how blessed I feel to have the life that I do.

My first belly pic

OK, I finally broke down and took a belly pic. BTW: it's not easy to take a pic of your own belly when you're the one holding the camera! LOL! This is 17 weeks 1 day:

One week from today...

...we'll know what the gender of Baby #3 is! I can't believe it!

I still have strong 'boy' feelings. I can't shake it. So that's gonna be my call this time.

Anyone wanna comment on here and wager what you think it'll be???

TEN DAYS LEFT!!!!

YIPPEEEE!!!!

2 WEEKS FROM TODAY!!!!

UNTIL OUR NEWEST LITTLE BUGGER SHOWS HIM/HERSELF!!!! WOO HOOOOO!!!!

We're actually going to LEAVE!!!

We've been talking about going out of town for a weekend - just the two of us - for about a year now. We have never left our kids overnight before. So it is T-I-M-E. Especially before baby #3 comes along!

Well... it's booked! YIPPEEEE!!!!

Right after our anniversary in early November, we're going to a new bed & breakfast that's about 15 minutes away from downtown Branson, MO. It's a GORGEOUS place that's on 20 acres of wooded hillsides. And get this: we'll be staying in their nicest suite - the BRIDAL SUITE!

Guess we don't have to worry about getting me pregnant that weekend, do we??? LOL!!

At any rate, I am SO ready for this. I can't wait to have quiet one-on-one time with Tim. I miss the times when we could go out for a leisurely evening (without planning it out 2 weeks ahead of time, so we have a sitter, etc, etc). We're gonna sleep LATE and be as lazy as we possibly can be! This is SO my idea of a good time!!!!

Countdown update....

2 WEEKS, 5 DAYS!!!!!

Sickness, sickness, GO AWAY!!!!

And don't ever ever come back!!!!

I had a cold a few weeks ago. Then a few days after that went away I developed acute bronchitis which is STILL not all the way gone. I now have pleurisy (inflammation of the tissue surrounding the lungs) which makes me feel like someone has a vice-grip on my chest.

NOW I feel like the mucus is building up again, to where it was when I got the bronchitis in the first place! (sorry, gross, I know) GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just had to get that off my chest. If I weren't pregnant I would just load up on all the drugs available. But since I am pregnant, I'm just being choosy about what I put in my body. I took a z-pack for the infection (in case it was bacterial) and I've been taking Mucinex DM to control the cough a little bit. Other than that, I've got nothin'.

It's beginning to get me down. I just want to feel healthy again. Even though I've been assured that the baby is fine, it still freaks me out to be this sick for this long while pregnant. I feel like if I'm suffering then my poor darling child must also be suffering somehow.

OK.... pity party over for now... but I reserve the right to pick up where I left off later on! ;-)

Countdown to the big u/s continues...

3 weeks, 3 days to go!
The End. ;-)

My prediction....

...OK, for some reason I have decided this baby is a BOY. I don't know why; I just do.

Granted, I was dead wrong with Evan and Ally. I swore Evan was a girl and I swore just as much that Ally was a boy. But maybe my prediction skills have improved since then, right??? LOL

If it's a boy, it'll be wonderful because then Ally will be the lone princess in the house - and she LOVES being the princess... believe me. ;-) And another boy would be SO much fun for Evan. He's continually told me that he's having a baby brother. hee! hee!

If it's a girl, it'll be wonderful because then Ally will have another girl to play with that's sort of close to her age. And I'll get use out of all of Ally's darling hand-me-down's.

*SIGH* Let the countdown continue. We now have 3 weeks & 4 days until we find out which way the balance of power will shift in the household. WHO WILL WIN? BOYS? OR GIRLS? (cue tense music) LOL!!

OK, maybe I'm a little bit of a liar (LOL)

...I said I don't care what this baby is. But I *DO* care!!! I just want to KNOW, one way or the other! As people who know me realize, I am truly the most impatient human being on Planet Earth. I need to know NOW! I want to start planning the nursery... I adore decorating my kids' rooms!

So this is a short post, because the oven's beeping, so I gotta run!

NT Scan today

I had a nuchal scan done at the hospital this afternoon, to check for the likelihood of certain chromosomal anomalies. Luckily, at least from what they could see, everything looks perfect! They'll call me in a week with blood test results, letting me know my chances of having a baby with Down's.

I don't care how many times I've done this: babies are a MIRACLE. Just a miracle. I was transfixed while watching our newest miracle on the screen. What a magnificent gift from God. I feel SO incredibly blessed, I can't even find the words to express it.

The specialist at the hospital said that he'd like to see me again at 18 weeks. He said he'll do more measurements at that point, and also let us know the gender of the baby!! So.... on October 16, we'll know which color to paint the baby's room! Yippeee!!!

The ultrasound tech said it looked a little like it MIGHT possibly be a girl. But there is certainly no definitive answer at only 12 weeks.

I've already got the blessing of each gender. So, boy OR girl: I don't care. I want a healthy, happy baby to love.

Let's face it - having a girl is FUN!

The other day, when Evan was at preschool, Ally and I ran to the store to get some fall/winter clothes for them. I got her a new headband with a bow on it, that (of course) she loved.

I put it on her as soon as we got home. Then she immediately cries out, "TUTU! TUTU!!!". A girl needs to accessorize, ya' know. LOL!

So I put her 'ballerina tutu' (as we refer to it) on her, and LORD that girl looked darling! She got all hammy and wanted me to take her picture - she NEVER wants me to take her picture! So I was all over it. Above are her poses for Mama.

Let's face it: girls are freaking FUN sometimes!!! :-)

Thank you, Modern Medicine...

Well, I've now been BACK on Lexapro for several days and I already feel a difference. Like I can breathe again. Like I can COPE again. Like I can be a civilized human being again.

The anxiety & depression hit me like a ton of bricks again, and I knew I had to do something about it... and fast. I had weaned myself off of Lexapro right when I got my first positive pregnancy test (I weaned myself over the course of a couple of weeks). I really wanted to NOT be on it while pregnant, if possible.

However, reality knocked on the door - well, POUNDED THE DOOR DOWN, is more like it. My kids, my husband, my poor unborn child and I were all suffering badly. I know that severe maternal anxiety can cause developmental issues with the fetus. And Lord knows I would never forgive myself if I caused some severe disability for my child.

So here I am, medicated.

At first, I felt like a complete failure for not being able to go without the meds. I was down on myself & basically hated myself for a little while there.

Then a friend of mine said something that changed my mind. She said, "Jodi, if you're a diabetic, you don't stop taking your insulin, do you? Why should this be any different? If you need it - TAKE IT."

I took that to heart, and now I couldn't be happier that I made the decision to go back on the meds. Clearly I need them. Does this make me a weak person or someone who is "less than" in some way? Hell no. It makes me someone who recognizes that I, like everyone else, have issues. And it's up to ME to do something about it.

Who knew?

That people would buy SO MUCH of my crap?!?!?! I organized a set of garage sales on our street, which took place this morning.

We sold SOOOOOOOOOO much crap, and it feels like Heaven to get rid of it!!! There's only one carload of stuff left, to bring to Goodwill.

We had more books than a library which was a HIT with the shoppers, apparently.

Anyhow, I'm exhausted beyond all comprehension from organizing and running it all. But OH how it was worth it!!! Yippeeee!!!!

(now if I could just convince Tim to let me use some of the profits to get the Kindle I've had my eye on!!!) LOL! NOTE TO SELF: that won't happen. hee hee

What a couple of days...

OK, so we've had a helluva time the past 2 nights with the kids not sleeping. Two nights ago, here's how it went:

Ally has had an ongoing problem with horrible constipation. Sometimes it gets really bad. Night before last being one of those times.

This is the second time in her life she's done this, but SHE. DIDN'T. SLEEP. HARDLY. AT. ALL.

Put her down for bed at 8pm. She finally went to sleep around 9:30. I went to go to sleep at 11pm. She woke up at 10:55. I went in to her, calmed her and put her back down.

I could NOT go to sleep then. I think it was around midnight when I finally drifted off.

Then at 12:15 she woke again. Tim went in to her, but I was awake and agitated and couldn't go back to sleep. Again.

2am: awake. I go in. Calm her back down, and take forever to go back to sleep.

4am: awake. I go in to her. Try to get her to sleep on my chest (this has worked before). Worked for 15 minutes, then she wouldn't hear of it. Tried to sleep on the floor next to her bed. No luck. Finally gave up at 4:40am.

5:00am: Tim went in to her while I laid in bed cursing like a SAILOR.

About 5:40am: I finally fall asleep.

6:30am: Alarm goes off. Time to get up.

And the thing is, she wasn't fussing/crying at all, the whole time. She would just open & close her door really loudly, where it would wake us up. I didn't want her waking Evan, since the next day was his first day back to preschool, which is why we hurried in to her each time. So I couldn't just let her fuss it out in this case. Besides, I knew she was uncomfortable.

Fast forward to last night:

Ally slept perfectly all night long. EVAN, however, woke us up by crying and yelling at his bedroom door. FOUR TIMES. And why??? Because he had a booger in his nose that we couldn't get out. REALLY, Evan???? REALLY?!?!?! Three Year Old logic - it kills me.

Anyhow, Tim insisted on going to him on 3 of the occasions. But unfortunately, I was still awake. So today I was a MESS. Couldn't WAIT until naptime!

Naptime comes. Ally didn't sleep for ONE SECOND. Which means no nap for sleep deprived Mama, either. I bawled like a baby. My anxiety spiraled out of control, to where I screamed so loud at the kids that my throat is killing me (serves me right, I guess). It didn't help when they were both dancing on the glass-top coffee table, despite my repeated attempts to get them to stop... and then when I yelled at them, they both laughed their heads off at me!!!!

That sent me off the deep end. I put them in their rooms (for their safety) and called Tim to cry and vent.

Luckily, I somehow made it to the end of the day. Ally is (thank God) asleep. And although Evan's not asleep, he's at least in bed.

Let's pray for a better night tonight and a better day tomorrow!!!!

Evan's 1st day back to preschool

Well, Little Man is back at preschool. And I think it took him all of 5 minutes to get back in the swing of things! He had a GREAT morning, although he was a little bummed that 3 of his little buddies from last school year are no longer in his class (they've moved on to pre-K).

When he got in the car to go home, he said, "I missed you, Mama! I missed you, Ally! I missed Daddy, too! I love you, Mama!". OMG - really???? Could he BE any cuter?!?!?! SO sweet.

Then later on, he said, "Mama, I learned a LOT at school today!" . I said, "Oh really??? What did you learn?". His answer? "TOYS." LMAO! Man, preschool rocks!!!

Here's a pic of him before walking in to school this morning. He flatly refused to look at me or smile (or take his hand away from his face). Oh well... he's still as darling as can be!