In a better place now...

Well, the kids are (back) on the road to recovery. And I'm getting to a better place, mentally, for now.

I've trained my brain to count down the last 2 weeks before this baby makes her arrival and I think it's just enough time. I'm ready to not be pregnant anymore, but I also know this is my final pregnancy so I keep reminding myself to ENJOY & CHERISH it as much as possible while I still can. This is the last 2 weeks of my life that I'll ever feel a life inside of me. So even though I can't really sleep, sit, stand, walk or eat comfortably (LOL!!!), I still cherish this angel inside of my belly so very, very much. She is a miracle.

Hopefully Evan will have a full 4-day school week this week so we can have some semblance of normalcy for a short while.

Oh, and I'm also glad I'm having the baby when I am (on Mar 15) because it means Tim will be home while Evan's off of school for Spring Break the following week! That worked out SO well. This way, the 'big kids' can go out and do some fun stuff with Daddy that week instead of being cooped up in the house with Mama and Baby Sister.

SOOOOOOOOO burned out

Sorry, it seems a lot of my posts have been rather on the negative side lately.

I'm still struggling with this funk I've been in. Add the fact that I live in a Germ Cesspool apparently, and you've got a recipe for disaster.

I don't understand - I keep a pretty clean household. We wash hands. We cover our mouths when we sneeze and cough (well, the kids do sometimes). And yet, someone has been ill in this house almost 100% of the time that I've been pregnant. When I'm not struggling to get myself well, I'm taking care of someone else who's sick. I can't take it any more! ENOUGH!!!! This has been the most hellish cold/flu season ever.

I'm longing for warmer weather. For fresh air. To go out in the backyard and let the kids play and run. We're all completely in the Winter Doldrums & we all need a change of scenery. I feel terrible that I haven't taken the kids many places to play outside of the house in a while. But someone's always sick, darn it! I can't bring a sick kid to a public place or a kid's house to play. And I can't bring them both somewhere when I'm sick either. What gives????

WHEW. Sorry... had to get all of that off my chest.

On a completely stupid but happy note, I just ordered myself a brand new diaper bag that R-O-C-K-S. I needed a serious pick-me-up & a new bag will always do it for me! LOL! Tim's eyes are going to roll back so far in his head they might just fall out. Ha! Ha! He just doesn't understand how some women love their bags.

I don't wear fancy clothes, I don't wear fancy shoes, I'm not a fancy person. But I *love* a good, nice bag! It's my vice, what can I say? ;-)

On to happy baby thoughts: Emily will be here in 2 weeks and 2-1/2 days!!!!!!! I can't wait to have several days of having Daddy home while we all enjoy our newest blessing! I have a feeling Ally's going to be a pretty clingy girl for a while after Miss Emily arrives, though. Ally is Mama's Girl & she isn't terribly fond of sharing me. But she also ADORES babies, so I'm hoping that will help a little tiny bit! I'm hopeful that Evan will handle it OK... he's a little older now, and I'm hoping he won't see the baby as too much competition.

For some reason, I've had this secret feeling that Emily will be my one baby who decides to come all on her own before the induction. Maybe that's just wishful thinking. But I've just had a nagging suspicion. Although if she did come spontaneously, it would be NUTS to get someone over here right away to take care of the kids. So actually, induction's a great option in our case.

37 week check-up

Well, technically, I'm 36 weeks 4 days today. But the appointment was considered my 37 weeker.

They didn't measure her size during the ultrasound, so I guess since they're not concerned about it then I won't be either! My fluid levels were great and her heart rate was wonderful, too!

I'm barely 1 cm dilated right now, which is normal and fine. Nothing to write home about, but you gotta start somewhere!

Looks like the induction will be scheduled for Monday, March 15. I'll be 39 weeks 1 day at that point. They're very confident that my cervix will be favorable by that time. I think it will be too, since I was induced at 38 weeks 4 days with Ally & it was smooth sailing. At 36 weeks with Ally, I was 1cm dilated so this time seems to be about on par.

Ally is so funny: a little while ago, she was pushing on my belly & starting at my belly button while yelling, "She's comin' out, Mama! She's comin' out!!" LOL! Somehow she's decided the baby will emerge from my belly button... hee hee! Then this morning, she lifted my shirt, shined a flashlight into my belly button & said, "Awwww, what a cute little baby!". That girl cracks me up.

I'm extremely tired, but that's to be expected. Last night I had the biggest emotional meltdown I've had in a LOOOOOOOOONG time. I flew off the handle and was bawling like a baby. Not really even sure why, except that the kids kept making messes faster than I could clean them up all day long and I was BEYOND exhausted. Luckily, Tim was home from work at the time of my meltdown so he ordered me to our room to chill out while he took care of dinner clean-up and the kids.

So we're at 2 weeks 4 days to go! In 'normal people' time that's NO TIME AT ALL! In pregnant people time, it might as well be 2 decades from now. But in the big picture, I know she'll be here soon and I couldn't be more excited to meet our newest miracle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Trying to hang in there

I'm 35 weeks 5 days today. SOOOOO close, yet so far away. I'm at that point of pregnancy where emotions run painfully high, and reason has gone out the window.

Had my 36 week check-up/ultrasound/NST yesterday. Emily's still measuring small: 25th percentile. By far, she's been my smallest child. I wish her size translated in to my being more comfortable, but it doesn't. The good news is that her heartrate is good, my fluid levels are good and the NST was good!!!

So, I mentioned to Dr. Super that I would prefer to be in the hospital over a weekend if possible when I get induced. Besides the fact that it will mean I'll have more help from Tim at home if we do that, I have some real concerns about childcare (long, drawn-out explanation that I won't get in to). And if we do it over a weekend, I would have more eyes to watch the kids. He said, "Don't worry, Jodi... we'll make it happen." And the tentative plan when I left the office was to induce on Friday, March 12. I was SOOOOO relieved and was on Cloud 9!

So then he calls me several hours later and says he's only on call on Mondays in March. So that's my only option for induction if I want Dr. Super to be the one delivering Emily (I do). So now, instead of having 10 working days of help at home with Tim, I'll be looking at 6-7 days of help. THAT SUCKS.... no way around it. I swear, people think when you have subsequent children you need less help, because you know how to care for an infant.

WRONG.

Having another child didn't magically make me sprout a second set of hands or clone myself. I have a lot more to do now. I'm not complaining per se; this *IS* what I wanted!!! But I would like some extra support at first, while I'm recovering from delivery & adjusting to our "new normal".

Sadly, my mom and mother-in-law aren't much help. They can't get down and play with Evan & Ally. They groan whenever they have to lean over to change their diapers, climb in bed to read them books, or change their clothes.

And put simply, Tim is the breadwinner. So he needs to get back to work in a decent amount of time. I totally understand that. When he's home, he is the MOST hands-on Dad ever. He plays with his children, he cares WELL for his children and is fantastic. But it's not fair to him to ask too much of him while he's trying to put food on the table, either. He can't be all things to all people. I'm very blessed to have him.

I'm mainly just stressing out about every little thing these days.

I'm having trouble sleeping well, I tire out very easily and the kids (rightfully so) need a LOT of me. The thought of being pregnant for 3-1/2 more weeks makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry.

I'm not naive enough to believe it'll be any EASIER when Emily's here. It will be much, much more difficult to function on a lot less sleep. I'll be sore. I'll be completely hormonal (moreso than now). But there's something about just KNOWING that she's here and we can start to carve out a new sense of normalcy that gives me some peace. Even if it's complete chaos at first (and it will be)... I'll know we're actively moving on a path to being a complete family that's already had their last child, and we can create a new sense of who we are as a family. I don't even know if any of this rambling makes any sense, but there you have it.

I'm ready to have my baby girl, hold her, love her & cuddle her. I'm ready as I'll ever be for the sleepless nights, the long crying spells (hers and mine - LOL!) & everything else that having a newborn entails.

I'm just eager to SEE her, smell her, stroke her petal-soft cheek & be entranced by her tiny, perfect fingers and toes. I'm so incredibly blessed to be having another healthy child. That's the bottom line that I need to keep reminding myself of. Hormones are running high, though.

Pray for us!

It's getting closer, but still seems so far away....

...delivery, that is.

For a few days there, I was getting in a bit of a funk. I'm uncomfortable & it's getting harder each day to keep up with Evan and Ally. I know Miss Emily is NOT ready to come out yet (she shouldn't be!) but I'm just mentally ready for her.

But then I decided that I needed to take a step back & just enjoy life with just 2 children while it lasts. Yes, I'm uncomfortable. But at least I can fully focus on my 2 older kiddos 100%, without caring for a newborn at the moment.

Since I've taken on this new attitude, I've actually seen their behaviors improve somewhat. They sense that I'm more relaxed, so therefore they seem more relaxed as well.

So as much as my body feels worn out, I'm going to enjoy Evan & Ally as much as possible in these last 6 weeks before Emily makes her grand arrival. They deserve all of that and more.

One funny thing is that they both keep asking me if Emily's coming out of my belly yet. If they keep asking me this on a daily basis, it WILL make this last stretch of time go on forever, that's for sure!!! LOL!

Oh boy - I'm not very good at posting often!

Well, as of today I am 31 weeks 4 days pregnant. I can't believe it!

Baby Emily is growing quite a bit in there; she's resting squarely on my pelvic bone, which is less than comfortable.

I went to the OB today because I've been having 'issues' (I won't go into detail). Turns out I have an infection - gotta love it. At least it explains the pain/discomfort/Braxton Hicks I've been having. Hopefully now that I have medication, it'll clear up in the next week or so.

Other than that, Evan & Ally have been in rare form lately. I think they have midnight meetings behind my back, to plot the next days' misadventures - LOL! They have had me HOPPING lately. And not in a good way.

Evan is throwing complete tantrums all the time lately. I have tried & tried to keep my cool but believe me - it does NOT always work. I recently read a great book, though, called 'How to Talk So Kids Listen, How to Listen So Kids Talk'. It has given me some useful tools to use while trying to get through to him. Just like anything in life, it doesn't always work, but at least it's a more reasonable approach to dealing with tyrant-like behavior besides constantly putting him in time out or simply yelling at him (useless).

Ally is just plain whiney and easily cries; mainly when Evan messes with her - which is a LOT. And the 2 of them just feed off of each other, too. I know this is totally normal; I remember it from when I was little and did it, too.

If Evan gargles his milk at the table, then Ally laughs and does it, too. Then they're both laughing and misbehaving and LOVING it! That's just one small example, but you get the idea.

I have no idea how I'm supposed to be able to juggle all of this once I have a newborn. But I figure there are millions of other women who have done it before, so if they can do it then SO CAN I! (I hope!) ;-)

Emily's room is ready - now we just need a baby to go with it!

Well, her room's pretty much DONE (except me cleaning some more of my scrapbooking stuff out of the closet).

Here's pics!

Nursery's almost complete!!

Well, I'm definitely a Type A personality... I'm not due until mid-March, and the nursery's about COMPLETE! LOL! It looks so completely awesome!!! I'll post pics of it after Christmas when I move the recliner in to her room so it's totally complete.

I'm so proud of myself; I did EVERY part of it myself (by choice - I love doing this!). I put up the drapery rods/drapes. I put the crib together (probably a no-no, but I did it on the sly while Tim was at work - LOL!). I picked out, purchased, and put everything in there together. And it looks divine! I decided not to go with too much pink (just hints of it throughout the bedding and room) since Ally's room is already so pink. I didn't want half of our upstairs to look like someone puked up Pepto Bismol! :-)

The walls were already a great color so I didn't need to paint (bonus!) - they're a warm yellow. And the bedding is mainly sage greens, blues, some yellows and hints of pink. The drapes are sage green. I found a lady on etsy who paints (and then prints) pictures that match Pottery Barn Kids bedding sets. I found one with trees, birds and owls on it (the PBK collection that I have) and ordered the prints. They were SUPER cheap. Then I got some nice white frames from Michael's (half off! yay!). I still wasn't liking the frames, so then I got some pink grosgrain ribbon and made a horizontal stripe at the top and bottom of the thick white picture frames and BAM! They look expensive and polished! Since a girl NEEDS to have her pink, I also got a cute, cheap pink side table from Target to put beside the recliner. And I got a pink flower wall light to put next to the changing table for late-night changings. We had these same Ikea flower wall lights in Ally's room and they're FABULOUS! Just enough light to do what you need to at night. And a GREAT Ikea price!

Other than that....

ALL of us have been well for a couple of weeks now!!!! HALLELUJAH!!! Evan's off of preschool for a couple of weeks for Christmas break, so I've been trying to keep the kids as entertained as possible with fun Christmasy projects/crafts. If Evan gets too bored, it spells T-R-O-U-B-L-E really fast! He was in time out about 6 times today alone; it's gonna be a looooong couple of weeks! (insert dramatic eye roll here)

Even so, I am very much looking forward to Christmas. The kids will get LOADS of stuff from Tim & I (and Santa) but luckily not too much from other family members, which is fine by me. We now draw names among the kiddos in my family, because there are just too many to buy for otherwise. I'm hosting my family's Christmas at my house this year, but it'll be a small gathering because my brother Steve, his wife and his kids aren't able to be in town. My brother Jeff, his wife & their 3 kids aren't coming because... well... that's a whole other story. LOL! So basically, it'll be me, Tim, our kids, my mom, my step-dad, my sister, her husband and her 4 kids. And that's it! For my family, that's a pretty small gathering. Then on Sunday after Christmas (when Tim's sister and brother and their families are in town) we'll head down to his parents' house to celebrate Tim's side of the family. I always look forward to that.

WOW, I need to catch up!

I haven't posted here in a loooong time! Our household has been plagued by one illness after another for so long that I've been completely overwhelmed.

I'm praying that things are going to settle back in to some semblance of normalcy soon.

Anyhow, I went for an elective 3D/4D ultrasound a week ago & WOW!!! It was so amazing!!! I was able to see Emily nonstop for about 25 minutes and what a precious gift that was! She was sleeping - or trying to - most of the time. She kept putting her hands and arms over her face as if to say, "HEY! Can't a girl get some sleep around here???"

She already seems to have Ally's features, from what I can tell. Her cheeks are a little round and she's got my side of the family's round nose. It was such a treat!

They made a DVD out of the session, and I played it when I got home. Ally kept asking to watch the "Baby Emily Show"!! LOL!!

I've been making a lot of progress on her room. I was lucky and didn't have to paint the room a different color than it already was, because it matched the bedding really well - WOO HOO! I'll post pics of the nursery at a later date.

Tonight, when I (literally) had 3 minutes to myself, I went in to her room, shut the door and just stood there imagining what it will be like to have a new baby again. I'm feeling pretty blissed-out thinking about it at the moment! I know the reality of it all is H-A-R-D and treacherous at times. But the bottom line is that this is what we've wanted. This is our final child, that we've been SO incredibly blessed with. And I can't wait to hold my precious baby in my arms.

Where to begin???

OK, so our little weekend vacation didn't really turn out as we originally planned.

We originally planned to go out of town on the first weekend in November after our anniversary. My Mother-in-law ended up being sick, so we had to cancel the weekend. Luckily, the Bed & Breakfast had the same suite available the following weekend, so we booked it.

Then on Thursday (the day before we were supposed to leave) Evan spiked a really high fever. So - again - we canceled our weekend. I cried and cried and cried.

Then on Friday he was FINE with no fever and no symptoms all day long even without medication. Soooooo... we called the B&B back and made reservations for Sat night & Sun night (instead of Fri & Sat).

My MIL needed to get her hair done and do some other stuff on Sat morning, so we didn't even leave the house for quite a while on Saturday. We didn't arrive at the B&B until 5pm that evening. Just enough time to drive in to downtown Branson, walk around, get dinner & grab some ice cream.

On Sunday we had a fun morning of shopping at the outlet malls. Later we took a nap & then went out for dinner. NOW it was beginning to feel like vacation! So I was looking forward to spending most of the day on Monday chilling out before going home, too.

On Sunday night while we were standing in line to go to a movie, my MIL calls to say Evan's spiked a fever & is acting lethargic again. She puts him on the phone and cries, "You need to come HOME, Mama!!!".

Oh. My. God. You may as well have ripped my heart straight out of my chest.

At that point it was way too late in the evening to drive all the way home (3-1/2 hour drive) in the pouring rain.

So Tim & I got up at the crack of dawn on Monday morning & were on the road by 7am.

Then, just outside of Springfield (not long after we left Branson) we stopped to get some McDonald's for breakfast. We got back in the car to start it, and all of a sudden there was a LOUD squealing sound coming from the engine & then Tim couldn't hardly steer anymore!!!

So we immediately pulled back in to a parking place. We turned the car off & then started it again. Then we heard a very loud *CLUNK!!*. Sounded like something fell OUT of the engine!!!

I called my step-dad who's a mechanic to see if he had any idea what it was. He said it sounded like a broken drive belt. HMMM... we JUST HAD the drive belts REPLACED by a shop less than a week before we went on vacation!!!

Called AAA, waited FOREVER for a tow truck to arrive. The guy looked in the engine and said, "Yep, it's a broken drive belt; and it looks like a bolt CAME OFF!". Our only timely option at that point was to ride in the tow truck while it hauled our car all the way back to St. Louis.

So a 3-1/2 hour trip ended up taking 7 hours.

**SIGH**

Got home, took care of Evan. Then that night Ally spiked a fever and thew up.

I give up.

What's new lately

The main thing we've been dealing with lately is all of us recently having a stomach bug. NOT FUN! Poor Ally is still battling some serious diaper messes/rashes.

Other than that, Evan & Ally are really, really looking forward to Trick Or Treating on Saturday! Ally is going to be Abby Cadabby and Evan will be a muscular Superman. They got a taste of Trick Or Treating last weekend when we went to Trunk or Treat at the YMCA. Evan now remembers why Halloween is so cool: C-A-N-D-Y!!!!!

I can't believe in one more week Tim & I will be going out of town BY OURSELVES for the first time ever. It's just for the weekend, but as it draws closer, I'm getting more and more nervous about it. I've never given up this much control before, when it comes to my kids. I *pray* that they'll be good for Grandma & Grandpa.

IT'S A GIRL!!!

Well, we *finally* had the 'big ultrasound' today!!!!

I was bawling almost from the moment it began; even before they told us the gender. Every time she told us that some part of the baby looked perfect, I cried harder & harder. I just can't believe how fortunate I feel to have a healthy, beautiful baby again. How amazing. What a miracle!!!

I have to say, I was utterly surprised to NOT see boy parts on there! I truly felt like it was a boy. But then again, I was wrong on my guesses for Evan and Ally as well. So much for Mother's intuition, right? LOL!

They made me a CD of all of the pics, which was really special. I'll post a few of the pics later on.

Right now I'm just riding on a cloud. I'm so incredibly thrilled and blessed!!!

Oh, and we're 99.9% sure we want to name her Emily Ann. We just love the name Emily. And Ann was my Aunt Darlene's middle name. She grew up in the same house as me since I was 5 years old (she had brain damage) & she was such a special part of my life. Sadly, Aunt Darlene passed away quite suddenly from a heart attack 3 years ago. Hopefully she's smiling down from Heaven right now.

Tomorrow at this time...

We'll know how our family will be rounded out. I'm feeling so overjoyed!!! And now that I'm this close to knowing one way or the other, my heart assures me that I truly will be SOOOOOOO grateful no matter what.

I am SO lucky. SO fortunate. SO thankful. This baby is such a gift.

After all the pain that we endured with our prior miscarriages, I can't believe that we're here now. Learning the gender of our LAST child. Our THIRD child!!! I'm in tears just typing this. Thank you, God, for this amazing gift.

If it's a boy or if it's a girl...

IF IT'S A BOY:
I can imagine my littlest man following his big brother around like a puppy dog. I pray that he's not effected by autism in any way. I imagine another little boy that is as simply STUNNING as Evan is.

IF IT'S A GIRL:
I can imagine my littlest girl thinking her big sister might be the coolest girl on Earth. I imagine another girly-girl that loves to dance & sing. I imagine her & her big sister sharing a room with bunk beds when they get older.

EITHER WAY:
I wish this child to be as naturally joyful as Ally & as naturally brilliant as Evan. I wish this child to be loved & protected by it's older brother & sister. I wish this child to be as genuine, good-hearted, kind and selfless as it's Daddy. I wish this child to be healthy.

MOST OF ALL:
I thank God every single day for all of my children, including this precious one I carry inside of me. I can't ever put in to words how blessed I feel to have the life that I do.

My first belly pic

OK, I finally broke down and took a belly pic. BTW: it's not easy to take a pic of your own belly when you're the one holding the camera! LOL! This is 17 weeks 1 day:

One week from today...

...we'll know what the gender of Baby #3 is! I can't believe it!

I still have strong 'boy' feelings. I can't shake it. So that's gonna be my call this time.

Anyone wanna comment on here and wager what you think it'll be???

TEN DAYS LEFT!!!!

YIPPEEEE!!!!

2 WEEKS FROM TODAY!!!!

UNTIL OUR NEWEST LITTLE BUGGER SHOWS HIM/HERSELF!!!! WOO HOOOOO!!!!

We're actually going to LEAVE!!!

We've been talking about going out of town for a weekend - just the two of us - for about a year now. We have never left our kids overnight before. So it is T-I-M-E. Especially before baby #3 comes along!

Well... it's booked! YIPPEEEE!!!!

Right after our anniversary in early November, we're going to a new bed & breakfast that's about 15 minutes away from downtown Branson, MO. It's a GORGEOUS place that's on 20 acres of wooded hillsides. And get this: we'll be staying in their nicest suite - the BRIDAL SUITE!

Guess we don't have to worry about getting me pregnant that weekend, do we??? LOL!!

At any rate, I am SO ready for this. I can't wait to have quiet one-on-one time with Tim. I miss the times when we could go out for a leisurely evening (without planning it out 2 weeks ahead of time, so we have a sitter, etc, etc). We're gonna sleep LATE and be as lazy as we possibly can be! This is SO my idea of a good time!!!!

Countdown update....

2 WEEKS, 5 DAYS!!!!!