Still truckin' along the Newborn highway!

Things are going OK lately. Mostly.

I recently had a nasty, nasty stomach virus for a week straight that about knocked me flat on my rear. Evan and Ally had it to a much, much smaller degree thank God.

I had an epiphany when Emily was 4 weeks old. I decided I really, really wanted to at least pump a bottle or two for Emily each day. Just when I thought I had made my peace with formula feeding, I guess I wasn't as OK with it as I thought.

Since then, I've been attempting to relactate. HOLY CRUD... that's some HARD WORK! If I would have just done it when my milk originally came in it would have been a breeze. But since airheaded Jodi decided to wait until 4 WEEKS POSTPARTUM to give her baby breastmilk, it's been a lot more challenging.

Especially after having the flu, it was like starting all over again. I'm only getting about an ounce total per day at the moment. But every time I feed it to her, it makes me feel so good knowing that I'm giving her something I made for her. And knowing that I'm giving her something no one else can.

If I never get any more volume than this, though, I'll have to hang up the pump for good. But I'm definitely going to fight the good fight for a few more weeks at least. I'm currently taking a supplement called More Milk Plus that has fenugreek and blessed thistle in it. I'm also on a drug called Domperidone which is supposed to increase my output. But we'll just have to see.

Emily is my little growing girl. She was a little over 9 pounds at 6 weeks old and about 23 inches long. She started social smiling a couple of weeks ago. OH. MY. GOODNESS. It might be the single most darling thing I've ever seen!!! She gets this huge, ginormous open-mouthed grin when you smile at her or make silly noises. I'm just soaking it all in.

Other than that, last weekend (April 24) was Ally's third birthday!!! I can't believe it!!! Sadly, we had to postpone her party since I was still pretty ill with the flu at the time. Turns out it was a blessing in disguise: we ended up having a tornado warning that afternoon and were huknered down in the basement!

But on May 8, we're going to have a princess party for our little princess girl. Instead of bringing toys (which she does NOT need), I'm having each person bring a different Disney princess costume for her. She only had one costume before (Snow White) and she *loves* playing dress-up in it. I can't wait to see her sweet face at the party!!!

5 weeks 1 day old

Emily's already a little more than a month old. CRAZY how fast time flies!

She sleeps pretty typically for a newborn, which means she sleeps for about 2 hours (3 if we're super lucky which isn't often) then wakes to be fed/soothed for an hour or more. And that process continues throughout the night. So not terrible - most nights, anyway.

Ally continues to be very, very careless with Emily. She's not even 3 years old yet (she will be in a few days though), so I don't expect her to truly understand it all. But I have found myself snapping at her a lot lately, because she's CONSTANTLY in her face, squeezing her fingers way too tightly, grabbing her, etc, etc... I remind myself constantly to calmly explain how to be gentle with Emily to her. And a lot of the times I do. But she just doesn't seem to care and just goes at Emily full-force still.

Evan continues to dote on his baby sister. He still calls her "his baby" and constantly says, "Mama, she's just so cute!". I am still amazed at how enamored he is with her. I've never seen him be so lovey to anyone before. It's SO heartwarming! Some of his other behavior towards ME is another topic altogether, though. Not something I have the energy to go in to at this point.

Postpartum blues have definitely started to kick in to gear. I've been feeling more and more overwhelmed as the lack of sleep continues. It certainly isn't anything like it was when I had Post Partum Depression, thank God. If it gets anywhere NEAR that point I'll be sprinting for the nearest psychiatrist.

I'm too exhausted to type any more updates but will attempt to later on this week. That's all I can manage to share tonight!

Great night last night!

So Miss Emily finally decided to be nice and give us a break last night! She slept from 10pm until 2:30am and then didn't get back up until 6:30am! WOO HOOOOOOO!!!!! Granted, I woke up like 5 times, checking the video monitor to look at her and make sure she was OK. I would see her move a little in her sleep and then think, "OK, she's gonna wake soon". Then she wouldn't.

I *know* this will rarely happen for now, but I sure do appreciate when it does happen!

Ally had a playdate at home with a little girl her age this morning while Evan was at preschool. She was sooooo excited! My friend Amy came over with her 2 youngest children: Ellia (about 5 mos younger than Ally) and Natalia (14 mos old). Ally kept saying, "I'm gonna play with THE GIRLS!!!". Sooo cute!

She and Ellia played beautifully together, and I can't wait to get them together again soon. Ally desperately needs some little girls to play with & she clearly enjoyed it!

My girl's got some ATTITUDE!

Tim was taking pictures of Emily RIGHT after she was born, and she promptly flipped him the bird! LMAO!!! If this is a harbinger of things to come, then we may just have out hands full with this little girl! HA! HA!!

Evan & Ally were really excited to come to the hospital and meet their new baby sister. Ally thinks she can be all rough-and-tumble with her (EEK!) and Evan is completely & utterly smitten with her! I've never seen him so sweet and gentle with anyone before; it's so heartwarming! <3

Emily was crying really hard and Evan kept laughing. I asked him, "Honey, why are you laughing? She's crying". He replied with, "She's just so cute when she cries, Mama!". Sooooo sweet!

As far as sleep goes, well, it sucks. It's everything we expected it to be. She sleeps a lot during the day and never wants to be put down to sleep at night. If we let her sleep in our arms at night, she'd probably sleep almost all night. But first of all, I can't sleep like that. Second of all (and most importantly) I'm really afraid she could fall out of my lap or something if I did fall asleep.

Oh well. At least since this is our third child, we knew what to expect. Even though we're terribly sleep deprived & a little more snippy with one another than normal, we're so very very happy that Emily's here with us now. She completes our family and I can't imagine our world without her already.

WOOPS! Apparently having 3 kiddos is eating up all my posting time...

LOL! Guess I should update my blog since Emily's 2-1/2 weeks old now, huh??? HA! HA!

Well, my induction was scheduled for Mon, Mar 15. They called me early in the morning (around 6am) and we were at the hospital by 7:15am.

They broke my water at 8:30am. Started pitocin at 9am. Checked me around 11:30-noon & reported that I was still at 3cm and 60% effaced (where I was when I arrived!).

They increased the pit a couple of times and by about 2:30pm I was finally at 4cm (still not much of an increase). But all of a sudden my contractions were coming a LOT closer together and MUCH more instense. At that point I received my lovely, lovely epidural. They checked me again at about 4:45pm and I was at 8cm! About 30-40 mins later I was fully dilated, effaced and ready to push. The doc came in and told me to push. I pushed and he said, "NOT SO HARD!!!". So I did one more tiny push and she was OUT!

I wailed and bawled like a fool for a long time. I am soooo overwhelmed and thankful to be blessed with our newest child. She's just beautiful and we're so incredibly in love!!!

Emily Ann was born on Mar 15 at 5:23pm. She was 7lbs 7oz & 20.5 inches long. She's got funny little white blonde peach fuzz hair just like her Mama used to have!

I'll post some pics from when she first arrived soon! And then I'll update the goings-on from the past 2-1/2 weeks after that.

I'm so amazingly thankful for our newest miracle. I thank God for her every day.

38 weeks, 4 days

Had my '39 week' check up today.

Looks like I've progressed to 3cm dilated... still about 60% effaced. Dr. Super said he's very encouraged by my progress and thinks we should fully expect a smooth induction/delivery on Monday the 15th - *if* I make it that long!!!!

Oh, and Emily has definitely had a major growth spurt. I told my mom that I suspected as much this morning (I've gotten huge all of a sudden). I predicted before my appointment that Emily will be about 7lbs 10oz & 21 inches long. After the ultrasound, it was estimated that she's now 7lbs 9oz. Not a bad guess on my part, eh??? LOL!

I definitely had a labor scare earlier this evening. I seriously & truly thought I was in labor! I kept having major, major pain & contractions. I couldn't get it to stop even after walking around.

But then finally (blissfully) it subsided.

I was really relieved because if it happened right now it would be really stressful to get someone here right away to be with the kids.

If it happens, we'll obviously HAVE to make it work right away. But if we make it to the induction day, I'll be most thankful!

One week from today!!!

Oh boy... we really are in the home stretch now! One week from today, I will be induced unless Miss Emily has plans of her own before then.

I cannot WAIT!!!!!!!

I slept for literally 3 hours last night because I am all out of comfy sleeping positions. So yeah... it must be about time to wrap this thing up - LOL!

I've been trying to keep myself occupied at all times, to help pass the time. Evan's at preschool right now, but after his nap, his best buddy's going to come over and play with him for a couple of hours. It's finally nice outside, so looks like all of us will be able to go out in the backyard and get some fresh air and SUNSHINE!!!! WOO HOOO!!!!!!

Tomorrow I'm going to surprise Evan and be the Mystery Reader in his classroom. I'll show up around 9am and read a couple of books to his class. I can't wait to see the look on his face when I walk in!! :-)

Wednesday should be a pretty ho-hum kind of day.

Thursday is my final prenatal appointment before the birth. And the way I've been hurting, there is NO WAY that I've had no progress since last week. I'm pretty excited to see where we stand at that point.

Friday Evan doesn't have preschool, so I'll probably just pack the kids up and run some errands to get some stuff I'll need before going to the hospital next Monday.

I told Tim this weekend we need to do as much fun stuff as possible with the kiddos, and go out to dinner as a family. Other than that, I plan on handing the kiddos over to Tim a lot and sleeping as much as I possibly can (given my discomfort) to rest up for the delivery.

It sure does feel good to be talking about these last few days. It means our newest baby girl will be in our ARMS.... SOON!!!

37 weeks 4 days

I had my '38 week check up' today (even though I'm 37 weeks 4 days).

We've had a little progress since last week. I'm now 2 cm dilated and about 50-60% effaced. So that's something, right???

And it appears that Emily has had a growth spurt (I thought she had, based on my increased size lately) and is now measuring just about EXACTLY right for her gestational age! WOO HOO! Grow, Emily, grow!!!

We're still set for a March 15 induction date. I'm praying I'll be called in some time in the morning rather than waiting around for most of the day. If I get called late in the day I most likely won't deliver until the following day.

But at this rate, we have every reason to expect it will be an uneventful and uncomplicated induction. Dr. Super said if I'm dilated/effaced enough & conditions look favorable enough, I have the option of them simply breaking my water without going straight to pitocin and see how fast I progress. That would be FANTASTIC!!! But if we need the pitocin, I'm OK with that too... as long as I don't need it for too terribly long. I was hoping to avoid pitocin too early in the induction process, so I can hold off on getting the epidural for a little while longer. I had some side effects from the epidural after my last delivery and I'm hoping that having less of it for less time will help out.

Anyhow, I'm still at a good place mentally. I'm glad I've still got a little more than a week to rest up (when I can) and spend some more time with Evan and Ally.

In a better place now...

Well, the kids are (back) on the road to recovery. And I'm getting to a better place, mentally, for now.

I've trained my brain to count down the last 2 weeks before this baby makes her arrival and I think it's just enough time. I'm ready to not be pregnant anymore, but I also know this is my final pregnancy so I keep reminding myself to ENJOY & CHERISH it as much as possible while I still can. This is the last 2 weeks of my life that I'll ever feel a life inside of me. So even though I can't really sleep, sit, stand, walk or eat comfortably (LOL!!!), I still cherish this angel inside of my belly so very, very much. She is a miracle.

Hopefully Evan will have a full 4-day school week this week so we can have some semblance of normalcy for a short while.

Oh, and I'm also glad I'm having the baby when I am (on Mar 15) because it means Tim will be home while Evan's off of school for Spring Break the following week! That worked out SO well. This way, the 'big kids' can go out and do some fun stuff with Daddy that week instead of being cooped up in the house with Mama and Baby Sister.

SOOOOOOOOO burned out

Sorry, it seems a lot of my posts have been rather on the negative side lately.

I'm still struggling with this funk I've been in. Add the fact that I live in a Germ Cesspool apparently, and you've got a recipe for disaster.

I don't understand - I keep a pretty clean household. We wash hands. We cover our mouths when we sneeze and cough (well, the kids do sometimes). And yet, someone has been ill in this house almost 100% of the time that I've been pregnant. When I'm not struggling to get myself well, I'm taking care of someone else who's sick. I can't take it any more! ENOUGH!!!! This has been the most hellish cold/flu season ever.

I'm longing for warmer weather. For fresh air. To go out in the backyard and let the kids play and run. We're all completely in the Winter Doldrums & we all need a change of scenery. I feel terrible that I haven't taken the kids many places to play outside of the house in a while. But someone's always sick, darn it! I can't bring a sick kid to a public place or a kid's house to play. And I can't bring them both somewhere when I'm sick either. What gives????

WHEW. Sorry... had to get all of that off my chest.

On a completely stupid but happy note, I just ordered myself a brand new diaper bag that R-O-C-K-S. I needed a serious pick-me-up & a new bag will always do it for me! LOL! Tim's eyes are going to roll back so far in his head they might just fall out. Ha! Ha! He just doesn't understand how some women love their bags.

I don't wear fancy clothes, I don't wear fancy shoes, I'm not a fancy person. But I *love* a good, nice bag! It's my vice, what can I say? ;-)

On to happy baby thoughts: Emily will be here in 2 weeks and 2-1/2 days!!!!!!! I can't wait to have several days of having Daddy home while we all enjoy our newest blessing! I have a feeling Ally's going to be a pretty clingy girl for a while after Miss Emily arrives, though. Ally is Mama's Girl & she isn't terribly fond of sharing me. But she also ADORES babies, so I'm hoping that will help a little tiny bit! I'm hopeful that Evan will handle it OK... he's a little older now, and I'm hoping he won't see the baby as too much competition.

For some reason, I've had this secret feeling that Emily will be my one baby who decides to come all on her own before the induction. Maybe that's just wishful thinking. But I've just had a nagging suspicion. Although if she did come spontaneously, it would be NUTS to get someone over here right away to take care of the kids. So actually, induction's a great option in our case.

37 week check-up

Well, technically, I'm 36 weeks 4 days today. But the appointment was considered my 37 weeker.

They didn't measure her size during the ultrasound, so I guess since they're not concerned about it then I won't be either! My fluid levels were great and her heart rate was wonderful, too!

I'm barely 1 cm dilated right now, which is normal and fine. Nothing to write home about, but you gotta start somewhere!

Looks like the induction will be scheduled for Monday, March 15. I'll be 39 weeks 1 day at that point. They're very confident that my cervix will be favorable by that time. I think it will be too, since I was induced at 38 weeks 4 days with Ally & it was smooth sailing. At 36 weeks with Ally, I was 1cm dilated so this time seems to be about on par.

Ally is so funny: a little while ago, she was pushing on my belly & starting at my belly button while yelling, "She's comin' out, Mama! She's comin' out!!" LOL! Somehow she's decided the baby will emerge from my belly button... hee hee! Then this morning, she lifted my shirt, shined a flashlight into my belly button & said, "Awwww, what a cute little baby!". That girl cracks me up.

I'm extremely tired, but that's to be expected. Last night I had the biggest emotional meltdown I've had in a LOOOOOOOOONG time. I flew off the handle and was bawling like a baby. Not really even sure why, except that the kids kept making messes faster than I could clean them up all day long and I was BEYOND exhausted. Luckily, Tim was home from work at the time of my meltdown so he ordered me to our room to chill out while he took care of dinner clean-up and the kids.

So we're at 2 weeks 4 days to go! In 'normal people' time that's NO TIME AT ALL! In pregnant people time, it might as well be 2 decades from now. But in the big picture, I know she'll be here soon and I couldn't be more excited to meet our newest miracle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Trying to hang in there

I'm 35 weeks 5 days today. SOOOOO close, yet so far away. I'm at that point of pregnancy where emotions run painfully high, and reason has gone out the window.

Had my 36 week check-up/ultrasound/NST yesterday. Emily's still measuring small: 25th percentile. By far, she's been my smallest child. I wish her size translated in to my being more comfortable, but it doesn't. The good news is that her heartrate is good, my fluid levels are good and the NST was good!!!

So, I mentioned to Dr. Super that I would prefer to be in the hospital over a weekend if possible when I get induced. Besides the fact that it will mean I'll have more help from Tim at home if we do that, I have some real concerns about childcare (long, drawn-out explanation that I won't get in to). And if we do it over a weekend, I would have more eyes to watch the kids. He said, "Don't worry, Jodi... we'll make it happen." And the tentative plan when I left the office was to induce on Friday, March 12. I was SOOOOO relieved and was on Cloud 9!

So then he calls me several hours later and says he's only on call on Mondays in March. So that's my only option for induction if I want Dr. Super to be the one delivering Emily (I do). So now, instead of having 10 working days of help at home with Tim, I'll be looking at 6-7 days of help. THAT SUCKS.... no way around it. I swear, people think when you have subsequent children you need less help, because you know how to care for an infant.

WRONG.

Having another child didn't magically make me sprout a second set of hands or clone myself. I have a lot more to do now. I'm not complaining per se; this *IS* what I wanted!!! But I would like some extra support at first, while I'm recovering from delivery & adjusting to our "new normal".

Sadly, my mom and mother-in-law aren't much help. They can't get down and play with Evan & Ally. They groan whenever they have to lean over to change their diapers, climb in bed to read them books, or change their clothes.

And put simply, Tim is the breadwinner. So he needs to get back to work in a decent amount of time. I totally understand that. When he's home, he is the MOST hands-on Dad ever. He plays with his children, he cares WELL for his children and is fantastic. But it's not fair to him to ask too much of him while he's trying to put food on the table, either. He can't be all things to all people. I'm very blessed to have him.

I'm mainly just stressing out about every little thing these days.

I'm having trouble sleeping well, I tire out very easily and the kids (rightfully so) need a LOT of me. The thought of being pregnant for 3-1/2 more weeks makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry.

I'm not naive enough to believe it'll be any EASIER when Emily's here. It will be much, much more difficult to function on a lot less sleep. I'll be sore. I'll be completely hormonal (moreso than now). But there's something about just KNOWING that she's here and we can start to carve out a new sense of normalcy that gives me some peace. Even if it's complete chaos at first (and it will be)... I'll know we're actively moving on a path to being a complete family that's already had their last child, and we can create a new sense of who we are as a family. I don't even know if any of this rambling makes any sense, but there you have it.

I'm ready to have my baby girl, hold her, love her & cuddle her. I'm ready as I'll ever be for the sleepless nights, the long crying spells (hers and mine - LOL!) & everything else that having a newborn entails.

I'm just eager to SEE her, smell her, stroke her petal-soft cheek & be entranced by her tiny, perfect fingers and toes. I'm so incredibly blessed to be having another healthy child. That's the bottom line that I need to keep reminding myself of. Hormones are running high, though.

Pray for us!

It's getting closer, but still seems so far away....

...delivery, that is.

For a few days there, I was getting in a bit of a funk. I'm uncomfortable & it's getting harder each day to keep up with Evan and Ally. I know Miss Emily is NOT ready to come out yet (she shouldn't be!) but I'm just mentally ready for her.

But then I decided that I needed to take a step back & just enjoy life with just 2 children while it lasts. Yes, I'm uncomfortable. But at least I can fully focus on my 2 older kiddos 100%, without caring for a newborn at the moment.

Since I've taken on this new attitude, I've actually seen their behaviors improve somewhat. They sense that I'm more relaxed, so therefore they seem more relaxed as well.

So as much as my body feels worn out, I'm going to enjoy Evan & Ally as much as possible in these last 6 weeks before Emily makes her grand arrival. They deserve all of that and more.

One funny thing is that they both keep asking me if Emily's coming out of my belly yet. If they keep asking me this on a daily basis, it WILL make this last stretch of time go on forever, that's for sure!!! LOL!

Oh boy - I'm not very good at posting often!

Well, as of today I am 31 weeks 4 days pregnant. I can't believe it!

Baby Emily is growing quite a bit in there; she's resting squarely on my pelvic bone, which is less than comfortable.

I went to the OB today because I've been having 'issues' (I won't go into detail). Turns out I have an infection - gotta love it. At least it explains the pain/discomfort/Braxton Hicks I've been having. Hopefully now that I have medication, it'll clear up in the next week or so.

Other than that, Evan & Ally have been in rare form lately. I think they have midnight meetings behind my back, to plot the next days' misadventures - LOL! They have had me HOPPING lately. And not in a good way.

Evan is throwing complete tantrums all the time lately. I have tried & tried to keep my cool but believe me - it does NOT always work. I recently read a great book, though, called 'How to Talk So Kids Listen, How to Listen So Kids Talk'. It has given me some useful tools to use while trying to get through to him. Just like anything in life, it doesn't always work, but at least it's a more reasonable approach to dealing with tyrant-like behavior besides constantly putting him in time out or simply yelling at him (useless).

Ally is just plain whiney and easily cries; mainly when Evan messes with her - which is a LOT. And the 2 of them just feed off of each other, too. I know this is totally normal; I remember it from when I was little and did it, too.

If Evan gargles his milk at the table, then Ally laughs and does it, too. Then they're both laughing and misbehaving and LOVING it! That's just one small example, but you get the idea.

I have no idea how I'm supposed to be able to juggle all of this once I have a newborn. But I figure there are millions of other women who have done it before, so if they can do it then SO CAN I! (I hope!) ;-)