Thank you, Modern Medicine...

Well, I've now been BACK on Lexapro for several days and I already feel a difference. Like I can breathe again. Like I can COPE again. Like I can be a civilized human being again.

The anxiety & depression hit me like a ton of bricks again, and I knew I had to do something about it... and fast. I had weaned myself off of Lexapro right when I got my first positive pregnancy test (I weaned myself over the course of a couple of weeks). I really wanted to NOT be on it while pregnant, if possible.

However, reality knocked on the door - well, POUNDED THE DOOR DOWN, is more like it. My kids, my husband, my poor unborn child and I were all suffering badly. I know that severe maternal anxiety can cause developmental issues with the fetus. And Lord knows I would never forgive myself if I caused some severe disability for my child.

So here I am, medicated.

At first, I felt like a complete failure for not being able to go without the meds. I was down on myself & basically hated myself for a little while there.

Then a friend of mine said something that changed my mind. She said, "Jodi, if you're a diabetic, you don't stop taking your insulin, do you? Why should this be any different? If you need it - TAKE IT."

I took that to heart, and now I couldn't be happier that I made the decision to go back on the meds. Clearly I need them. Does this make me a weak person or someone who is "less than" in some way? Hell no. It makes me someone who recognizes that I, like everyone else, have issues. And it's up to ME to do something about it.